Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Google Everywhere!

Setting: A darkened yurt in the steppes of southeastern Mongolia, the near future.

HERDSMAN: OK Google.
PILE OF PELTS ON THE FLOOR: .
HERDSMAN: I think something is wrong with my yak. He is sleeping a lot.
PILE OF PELTS ON THE FLOOR: Here are the listings for large animal veterinarians nearby. Shall I display them?
HERDSMAN: Yes.
PILE OF PELTS ON THE FLOOR: No external display detected.
HERDSMAN: Manure! Wife, get me my S9. It's probably by the drying racks!
HERDSWOMAN: Get it yourself! You haven't checked your Google + status in twenty minutes, aren't you afraid you no longer exist? I've got work to do!
HERDSMAN: Woman, the yak is sick. Get me my S9 and quit your bitching!
HERDSWOMAN: Eternal Heaven! If we had upgraded the Google appliance from a standalone unit last year like I wanted to, you wouldn't have to go running to your S9 to google something - and you wouldn't have to keep that appliance buried under a bunch of hides so the battery doesn't freeze! It's insane - and incidentally so are you!
HERDSMAN: I will not be bullied by a globally mega-monopolistic super-corporation!
HERDSWOMAN: For Schmidt's sake, will you keep it down? You'll have an auditing drone poking around our tent if you don't shut up! Do you want that?
HERDSMAN: I will not be bullied by you either! I don't care about your preferred vendor status ... that yak does a lot more work than you!
HERDSWOMAN: I'd like to see it auction its own milk.
HERDSMAN: That's another upgrade. Forget it!

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